If you store lube with a pump dispenser in a small or crowded drawer then make sure the pump's always facing down. I just opened my lube/toys/condoms drawer by accident and quickly closed it, unfortunately jamming the top of the pump mechanism against the bottom of the drawer above as I slammed it shut, and sending a comically long stream of semen-coloured Liquid Silk all down my hoodie and the top of my jeans. Oops.

Thanks to Carly at LoveHoney for sending me this Tenga Egg, and for her patience while it took me forever to get to actually writing something!

The reason why it took me so long to review this toy is that it's been really hard for me to make my mind up about the Stepper - it's good, but not on the same scale that their Onacups and Flip Hole toys are. I do like the concept, a kind of naughty Kinder egg for adults (with the treat inside the egg being the sachet of Tenga lube included insider every egg) - but the same form factor that amuses me is also the one that has put me off this toy.

The eggs are flimsy, which really affects how they feel as well as how you use them. The egg can either be used with air trapped inside it, in which case it feels almost blowjobby - with the main stimulation coming from the ring at the base of the egg acting on that ridge where head of cock meets shaft in the same way as a pair of lips would. Pleasure also comes from head of my cock bumping against the soft top of the egg with every down stroke of my hand. The other way to use the egg is with more of a vacuum inside it, no air, so more head of penis to egg contact. It's almost pussyish, in the same way as anything warm and slippery wrapped around the most sensitive part of your penis feels pussyish. While this feels good, it wasn't my favourite, so I preferred to use the egg with air inside it. Unfortunately, due to the flimsy nature of the egg, it never lasts long before any sort of a firm grip reverts the egg to the vacuum state. Using the egg is actually quite awkward just because it is so flimsy - you have to sort of grasp it at the base and either bob it up and down on your head (again, blowjob style), or stretch it down your cock. The material is very stretchy, but mostly at the top, which results in the top stretching flush against your cock, and the rest bunching up at the base. This does actually feel quite good though, but it's so frustrating that the egg doesn't offer the same sort of entire stimulation (of both the head and shaft) that a Fleshlight, Onacup, or Flip Hole does.

All while using the egg, I really, really, missed the entire cock stimulation. It felt good, but the orgasms were small ones - not the sort of knee-shaking 'I need to lie down now' orgasms that a Fleshlight or Flip Hole always delivers. It's trickiness to hold, small size and awkward lack of rigidity means you can't really 'fuck it' in the same way as you can a toy with a hard outer casing, and it's small size and novelty factor doesn't really make up for it's lack of all-over stimulation. Additionally, while the internal diagram of the toy looks impressive, in reality the stepper is really just smooth with a few bumps on it - it doesn't look as impressive as the other Tenga Eggs, and I don't think the bumps really added that much to the experience.

The Egg comes complete with a sachet of Tenga lube which was very good, nice and runny. When I first used the Tenga egg with the Tenga lube it nicely trickled down my shaft, similar to how saliva would in a really hot, wet, slippery blowjob. The Tenga Eggs are billed as 'one use' toys - but that seems excessive to me. I've already used mine a good few times, and it hasn't shown any signs of weakening. You can use any lube with it (probably best to use a water-based one just to be safe) so there's no reason not to keep using the Tenga Egg until you can't any more!

While I really enjoyed using the Tenga Egg, it's lack of entire penis stimulation was an absolute deal breaker. I like the fancy packaging, I like the cute and non-threatening/obviously onatastic 'stocking filler' form-factor, but I fail to see why (for individual use) someone wouldn't just spent £2/£3 more and get a Tenga onacup, they feel amazing, stimulate the whole penis, and are much less fiddly to use! That said, the Egg is a nice novelty, and could be fun to use for a couple together - Carly mentioned on the LoveHoney forums that she liked using it because she could feel her partner's cock through it, and its small size allowed her to tease her partner's shaft herself - so I guess the form-factor does have it's benefits, as long as you're not on your own.

Sorry for being so lame and not blogging properly forever, but I'm super busy, and don't feel entirely right about writing about what the Girl and I get up to - it was fine describing sex with one night stand or casual partners, but I'm not so comfortable writing about all the gory details when it feels like it 'means' more, whatever that means!

Despite all that, I do have ideas for posts, I just need time to write them! Pretty busy with uni work, having fun, and getting up to no good with the Girl so it's hard to find time to plan and write! HNT might even be a possibility, although I've never really got into the swing of HNT at uni as opposed to at home over the holidays - I think it's because I don't have the same amount of long IKEA mirrors that make seeing HNT opportunities that much easier!

I've been sent a Tenga Egg, the Stepper version, to review so that will be up for your consideration and delectation soon. The Stepper Egg seems tiny! It's definitely only enough for just the head of my cock - I think I'll miss the all the hot shaft action that my Fleshlight, Flip Hole and onacups give me! Still, it looks very interesting - so stick around!

The winning design of UK sex toy retailer LoveHoney's first Design A Sex Toy competition will have gone on sale by the time this post is published, and I was sent a review product of Trevor Murphy's design. I had no idea what it was until it arrived, expecting some sort of supersonic bullet or other improvement on an existing style of sex toy, but instead found an entirely different product. It's pure British inventiveness with just a smidge of eccentricity - the sort of sex toy Wallace and Gromit would scheme up in a shed at the bottom of their garden.

So here it is, LoveHoney's new product, the Sqweel (see what they did there!?):



I was initially sceptical by the appearance that reminded me of paddle-steamers and waterwheels, but LoveHoney are boldly offering customers a '360 degree' guarantee - an orgasm, or your money back.

While the device claims to simulate the sensations of oral sex I'm not entirely convinced, the tongues feel rubbery rather than tonguey (as you would expect!) and I'm not sure a motor can replicate the pulsing, dynamic nature of a tongue muscle at work. That said, I am a little concerned that the one sexual technique of mine that I'm most proud of is now being replicated by a machine. I did a 'me licking my finger compared to the Sqweel 'licking' my now wet finger' test and I can imagine that the Sqweel, when used with a lot of water-based lube, would be pretty good... However, I'm definitely more discrete - the packaging for the Sqweel markets it as quiet, but I found mine to be really rather noisy, you can hear and see the intensity of the three speed settings in my video below. Bare in mind though that the video was taken with the microphone of the camera very close to the toy, and in reality distance and background noise would help muffle the sounds. Additionally, reviewers on the LH site have commented that the noise levels are reasonable.

There's also a small issue with a front cover (to cover the tongues when not in use) that I found impossible to put back on once I'd taken it off, but I'm sure there is a knack to it - and it's not a huge deal. The rotating wheel of tongues can be removed for easy cleaning, and it takes 3 AAA batteries.

It's an interesting idea for a toy, and a definitely a very cool deviation from the rabbit/bullet style norms. I'm going to be looking forward to reading the reviews of the product from LoveHoney's Orgasm Army of toy testers to see how well those in possession of lady-parts rate it at replicating oral sex. Even if it doesn't feel particularly realistic, those 'tongues' are still going to feel pretty good flicking against a clit! I'm scared I might be out of a job!

Thanks to Dangerous Lilly, whose post about Sugasm encouraged me to submit my last post, and it made it as a pick, yay!

---

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #174? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Dressing Room Voyeur
“I caught his gaze this time, on purpose.”

It’s Always the Quiet Ones…
“So grabbing her hips, I pulled her in for a kiss.”

Behind Closed Doors
“Others had watched, she beat me, brought me to tears, held me and then began to untie me.”

Sugasm Editor
The Mouse Drama

Editor’s Choice
Let the Rain Come

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Before I became part of a very sweet couple with Girl I'm Not Going To Blog About, I became, officially, a mother-fucker.

It was with a friend of a friend, around a year or two older than me, who had had a child a few years ago. I've always had a bit of a thing for her, and earlier this summer I'd spent the latter portion of a party kissing and fondling her in a bathroom, but we hadn't done much more. A week or two ago though, she had a few of us over to her flat for beer and pizza - a winning combination even without the night of debauchery that followed.

As everyone retried to bed/a sofa/the floor I slunk off to her room and cheekily invited myself to her bed while she pottered around doing girly-pre-going-to-bed things, makup remover and the like. When she came back into the room, she was just wearing little black knickers, and a short babydoll but opaque style top. Hot.

She got into bed next to me and I apologised for my presumption in assuming that she would be happy with sharing my bed. Of course, really I didn't have any doubt at all that she would be - the hundreds of filthy texts we'd exchanged since our last fleeting bathroom encounter had assured me of that. I know she wanted me, and although I didn't want to have sex with her because of my impending coupledom with Girl, I certainly wanted to do everything else.

So grabbing her hips, I pulled her in for a kiss. Soon, I was going down on her. I'd teased her a little bit with my mouth and tongue in the bathroom at that party earlier in the summer, but now I had the time and space to do it properly. I spent ages kissing slowly up her legs, from her ankles to agonisingly close to her labia. Each time I kissed closer and closer - then stopped, at started again at the base of the other leg. Then finally, I stopped, and teasingly hovered my mouth just above her clitoris, breathing on it, but offering nothing more.

Soon though, it was time to please, and with my trademark ways I lavished her clitoris with attention, alternating bouts of rapid licking and sucking on her clit with moments of sliding a finger upwards and inside her while slowly but firmly grinding the tip of my tongue against her clit. Pulling me back up, she kissed my now slick lips and face enthusiastically, and when my hands came near my mouth she sucked on my wet fingers, licking the taste and scent of herself off of them. This girl was going to be even more fun than I had imagined.

Resting after me going down on her, my hands idly explored her body, the palm of my hand came to rest on one of her small but very well formed buttocks. I gave it a cheeky slap and she jumped. 'Don't do that...' she whispered. 'Why?' I asked, '...because it'll just turn me on again.' THWACK! The crack echoed around the room as my hand made firm contact with her arse. I did it again. All she could do was moan and squirm against the mattress as she looked up at me with those wide eyes.

....

With her on top of me she ground her body against me, my bare cock being rubbed against some uncharted spot above her pussy, tantalisingly close to, or even directly against her little ass - I was never quite sure where it was, but whatever it was rubbing against, she liked. Knowing that we couldn't have sex without a condom, and not wanting to break up our tryst, we continued writhing against each other, me thrusting up against whatever it was I was thrusting against, and her pressing her body back down onto my now very hard cock. Time passed, but soon the head of my cock was undoubtedly nestled at the entrance to her ass, perhaps even being pressed ever so slightly inside her. I asked about lube, or even a poor-man's substitute, but alas she had none.

Realising this could only go so far, I got my fingers involved. I traced them lightly across her buttocks, and down to the cleft between her small cheeks. I lightly brushed my finger across her puckered ass and she gasped. A devilish grin spread across my face. This girl really was going to be fun.

The problem was, we had no lube, and things were far too dry, so there was only one thing to do, right? I rolled her onto her back and dragged her to the edge of the bed, then made her lift up her hips so I could slide a pillow underneath her for easy access. Kneeling on the floor next to the bed I stroked my cock while I parted her slim legs and kissed up her smooth, creamy thighs. I teased her like I had teased her earlier in the hope that she'd get worked up with the memory of what had rewarded her waiting earlier. Making my mouth water so things would get really, really wet, I went down on her again, spreading a combination of my saliva and her juices all over her pussy. My hyperactive tongue flicked over her clitoris, and it delved into her pussy, slipping inside her little body. Then though, I carried on down. I took my tongue off her skin, paused, and the next thing she knew I was licking her ass. While my tongue had had dalliances with bottoms before, this was the first time I had brazenly rimmed someone - and I liked it. She was so obviously into it, but shocked at the same time. It was hot.

I licked every inch of her that I could until between her legs and between my neck and nose was a bit, slippery mess. I licked her ass while my nose rubbed her clit. I pressed the tip of my tongue into or against anywhere I could. I offered her my finger and she sucked it generously while I went back to work on her clit. Then, I slowly slid my finger inside her ass.

Given my little anal fixation (I've never tried it, but would love to), this girl's clear interest in all things derrière, but also the frustrating lack of lube or anything that would facilitate further explorations, I'm sure you can imagine how horny I was. Now double it. My cock was throbbing and I couldn't think straight. While initially I hadn't wanted to have sex, by now there was no way that I could have got to sleep or even just regained rational thought without release. Lying next to her, I turned round, fixed her with a cheeky look and simply proposed: 'sex?'

Having rolled a condom on (those non-latex ones I mentioned a while ago - I'd offer a review, but really I was in no state to tell you what day it was, let alone comment on latex vs polywhatever condoms) I knelt between her legs and slid myself inside her. The sense of utter relief and sexual fulfilment was epic. With the entire length of my engorged cock inside her pussy I almost collapsed on top of her, grabbed her, and we fucked.

A new study from Brunel University in the UK (which can be read for free online) has found (well, statistically proven something that I'm sure we had our suspicions about) that men have lower standards when it comes to deciding whether or not to have casual sex with a potential mate. Interestingly it also varies by country, possibly showing the effect of cultural variance.

Building on existing research, the study used a sample of just over 400 male and female university students from Germany, Italy and the US and asked them to imagine being approached by a slightly unattractive, moderately attractive, or exceptionally attractive member of the opposite sex, and being asked if they would like to either go on a date with that person, to that person's apartment, or have sex with the person.

The results are quoted below, directly from the paper:

We generated and tested two hypotheses in the current research. Hypothesis 1 stated that men, relative to women, will demonstrate a greater willingness to accept the “apartment” and “bed” requests but not the “go out” request for all three levels of requestor attractiveness. The results support this hypothesis for the “apartment” and “bed” request. Men are more likely than women to accept these two requests, regardless of the attractiveness of the imagined prospective partner.

Hypothesis 2 stated that the physical attractiveness of a potential partner will have a greater effect on women’s than on men’s willingness to accept all three requests, and particularly for the request for casual sex. This hypothesis was confirmed. Regardless of the type of request, men were more willing to accept the request from a moderately and exceptionally attractive woman than from a slightly attractive woman, suggesting that men were not entirely insensitive to the requestor’s attractiveness. In contrast, women’s willingness to accept the “go out” offer increased with the imagined requestor’s physical attractiveness. With respect to the “apartment” and “bed” request, women exacted higher standards than men, as women reported a greater likelihood of agreeing to these requests only from an exceptionally attractive prospective partner. These results are consistent with the “good genes” hypothesis for women’s short-term, casual sex (Gangestad & Thornhill, 1997). Women are more likely to engage in casual sex with an exceptionally attractive man than with a less attractive man.

....

We found that regardless of the requestor’s attractiveness, men are far more interested in casual sex than are women. Women express greater likelihood of accepting offers of casual sex only from an exceptionally attractive man, compared to a less attractive man. Men, in contrast, manifested no differences in their interest in casual sex with a moderately or an exceptionally attractive woman.

Schützwohl et al. How Willing Are You to Accept Sexual Requests from Slightly Unattractive to Exceptionally Attractive Imagined Requestors? Human Nature, 2009;

The study also found that the Italian men were more likely to go to bed with their requestor than the American men, and the German men even less likely.

Really this all seems quite obvious to me already, although obviously everything in science has to be qualified, and the evolutionary psychology approach used here is a lot more sophisticated than my 'guys are always horny and wearing beer/desperation goggles, whereas girls are in more demand so can be more picky' approach... I think both have some merit though :P

With this research, and my casual sex: relationship sex ratio of 3:1, I'm feeling quite smug, go me! I love this mix of science and evolutionary psychology too, it's really interesting stuff.

Part marketing ploy, part way for Company magazine to fill a few pages, LoveHoney are once again organising the UK Sex Toy Awards. While that first sentence sounds a bit cynical, it's really not meant to be - this is just another example of one of the things that LoveHoney do that make them such an approachable, sex toy positive and hopefully successful business. And, better than Ann Summers - take that high street! It's also another reason why I'm happy to always blog about LoveHoney products and initiatives, except for that weird, weird Love Bunny thing. Sorry Ruth...

So, back to business! Do you live in the United Kingdom and own a vagina and/or clitoris (lucky you!)? If you think you've got what it takes to use these to the best of your ability, then sign up to be an official Sex Toy Judge (don't forget to update your CV!) and you could have £300 of shiny products winging their way to you. Kerching.

The (quite UK and LoveHoney centric - but hey, it's their party!) shortlist for 2009 is:

7 Function Magic Bullet Vibrator	BASIC Finger Ring	Tracey Cox Supersex Massager	Jessica Rabbit 2.0 G-Spot Vibrator	We-Vibe Clitoral Vibrator
SaSi by JeJoue Intelligent Rechargeable Vibrator	Vibe Therapy Serene 7 Function Silicone Twist Vibrator	Erotic Rocket 2.0	Screaming O FingO	Lelo Mia Rechargeable Vibrator

Personally, I wouldn't have expected to see those two finger toys - I think they'd be better replaced by a vibrating cockring or another Lelo toy. My money is either on the bullet vibe or rabbit for accessibility and popularity, or We-Vibe or SaSi for high spec sexy goodness. Or maybe the Mia because everyone loves Lelo. So basically, I don't really know who I expect to win, but I hope it's one of those! It would also have been nice to see a male toy such as the Tenga Flip Hole or a Fleshlight as they're technically (very good) sex toys - but obviously Company is a female centric magazine and the sex toy market is mainly female.

Which toy would you judge to be the best, and which ones should have made the list? Leave your comments, I'd love to hear them!

Ahhh, I love coming home from work, having a shower, and it
being warm enough to just sit naked in my room and browse all sorts
of filth online... Whenever I'm drying off I always get really really horny
and then just end up needing another shower ;)

Such a delightfully vicious cycle...

Make sure to click through to the bigger version to see all those little
droplets of water in detail - I love my new camera...

I don't suppose any of you fine internet people live in or near Melbourne, or go to Monash University?

I'm asking not just because I have a MASSIVE thing for Australian girls (how is it that I've not managed to properly blog about the two Aussie girls that I've had sex with, and the few more that I've flirted with?), but because I, potentially, could be spending the second semester of the upcoming Academic year in Monash, as long as they'll have me and my programme in the UK will let me go and do Australian modules for half the year.

It's far from definite as it'd be expensive and there's a few niggly things that are putting me off going, but I'm sure I'd still love to. If anyone knows anything about Monash or Melbourne then email me! factsandfriction at googlemail dot com :)

Fantastic friends already, we slunk about the party mingling but really just following each other's traces, the air already thickening with alcohol and lust. An academic year of wanting felt like it was leading up to this moment. Upstairs we cornered each other in a spare bedroom laughing with a handful of fellow inebriates. 'Are you a couple?' asked the anonymous party-goer slumped in a corner. No, we replied, shooting a sheepish, almost guilty 'but-we-should-be' look straight into the other's eyes. 'Well then,' the girl in the corner slurred, 'you're going to fuck tonight.' 'Yes,' I said, 'yes, we probably will.' I smiled, took her by the waist, and we walked downstairs.

Outside the dying party we walked slowly with our arms around each other through suburbia, alcohol and affection warming our bodies and the 4am stillness enhanced by the soft sodium glow of the streetlights, a beautiful summer night.

In my room I felt transformed. Gone was the smooth, confident Jake. Instead, there was the fourteen year old me. I was whisked away to how I felt about my first love. I stumbled over words, I grinned inanely, overcome with happiness. I grabbed her for spontaneous bouts of hugging, I covered her body in kisses, and though we did have sex that night, we certainly didn't fuck. Our bodies moved in a haze of vodka and coke, but it was a beautiful symphony of bodies perfectly meshed and in synchronicity. We laughed about how it had taken us since September for this to happen. I marvelled at her adorable smile, her girly voice, and her perfectly formed little body and she just smiled and kissed me, her tiny lips finally meeting mine.

I saw her the next day, and the next, and the next. I'm smitten.

A staple of the male section of Lelo's upmarket range of sex toys, Lelo Bob is a beautiful silicone 'gentleman's pleasure object'. Shaped like an elongated teardrop in either 'Bordeaux' wine-red or a deep blue, BOB is immediately noticeable as a buttplug of the highest calibre.

While it offers similar sensations Lelo Bob lacks any of the medical or technical look that other prostate stimulators such as the Nexus range sport, instead it's got a simple but perfectly formed shape, free of any seams and moulded in smooth but firm silicone, the ultimate material for the ass or indeed most other sex toys.

BOB is a relatively small size, which combined with the appealing shape would make him a good toy for someone new but enthusiastic about exploring the whole range of new sensations that anal play can bring to the table (or shower, or bed...). BOB is so easy to insert, he literally glides inside with almost no effort at all. A covering of lube on you and BOB means that once the tip has been gently inserted the rest of the toy just glides in, BOB is literally sucked into your body - and don't let the size fool you - when BOB is in the feeling is instantly noticeable.

I'm writing this fully clothed, but I have BOB under my jeans, stealthily nestled inside me. Even sitting down is comfortable as the 'O' ring of silicone at the bottom of the toy readily collapses on itself, unlike more rigid toys with more traditional flared ends that can be uncomfortable to have inside you while sat down.

With BOB inside me I immediately feel closer to orgasm, and am tempted to masturbate frenziedly for the inevitably enhanced orgasm. While I'm afraid I don't have any explosive tales of multiple mind-blowing prostate induced orgasms (I imagine that is something that requires a lot of patience and personal anatomical knowledge, much as eliciting g-spot style orgasms does) BOB is still a great anal toy.

What the Lelo BOB is fantastic for is amplifying existing pleasure. With the toy in, every sensation feels intensified. To be fair, the same thing happens with a lot of anal toys, or even a finger, such is the nature of anal/prostate play - but BOB does a fantastic job. The smooth, pliable silicone not only feels incredibly well designed in your hand, but feels incredible inside you. The ergonomic design and the smooth texture and heat retaining nature of silicone all result in BOB feeling 'just right' inside you. While he's noticeable he is never uncomfortable, just sitting there giving your body a little extra something to flex around.

Orgasm and sexual arousal is a tricky beast to fully understand, and it's not something that I could claim to know much about from a scientific view, but I do know that a fair amount of muscle contractions are involved. Now with BOB inside you, each one of those contractions, from the occasional routine one when you hand first strokes your cock, to the intense ones in the build up to orgasm, are incredibly noticeable, you can literally feel them (or what feels like them) contracting around BOB. With the amplified pleasure, I found that orgasm came quicker - and when it did - wow. This is where you get all the benefit of BOB. Orgasms felt more intense, causing my body to almost double up, and copious amounts of come to be produced. I can only imagine how fantastic the resulting orgasm from sex or oral sex with this in would feel - hopefully one day I'll have a partner open-minded enough to try this out. As well as feeling 'stronger', my orgasm felt longer lasting, with numerous noticeable waves of pleasure before, during and after ejaculation. Anal play is an avenue well worth exploring for any man or woman, and if your interest is already piqued then BOB would be a fantastic partner in starting to explore more of your body. I heartily recommend it and can see it becoming a regular piece of my sexual arsenal!

Thanks to John at vibrator.com for sorting me out with BOB to review, and also for the huge bright pink VIBRATOR.COM stickers, not sure what my handful of male housemates would think of those!

I finally managed to get hold of Private Schooler and the good news is that she's split up with the very unsatisfying boyfriend. The bad news, is she's now got a new, shiny and improved one who is an order of magnitude better in bed (although apparently compared to the previous one, that isn't a status too hard to achieve). Bollocks! That's one source of potential summer holiday naughtiness down, and it's such a shame as her voice sounds so utterly sexy on the phone.

Oh well, back to perving over her Facebook profile pictures then!